Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
