The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
