Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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