I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
