Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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