Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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