I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
BRING THE BAGELS
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
