he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
