Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
