Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize