I just saw a hot homeless man
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
