I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
