My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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