By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
