i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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