i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize