she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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