Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
