There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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