I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
