after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
