My brain says no but my pants say off.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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