last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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