no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
