so explain again why im purple
no
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
