If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
