Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
