so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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