Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize