he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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