after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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