Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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