don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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