The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
