You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
