dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
