The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize