make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
