Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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