Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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