I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize