We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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