Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
