guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
