While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
