it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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