sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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