If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
