Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
