You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
