I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
