I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
