You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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