Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
