What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
