i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
