well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
