Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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