Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
