Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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