She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
