i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
