Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
