Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize