i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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