You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
