Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
