Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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