my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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